The Window Jumping Hamsters with Microscopes
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: [CRACK!] Science, Mukahi, Hamsters, Window jumping. Oh god save us now!


The Window Jumping Hamsters with Microscopes

Odd name? Think again after reading it! XD

* * *

"Ok," Miss Hikari announced to the class, "Welcome class, to our first microscope unit!" She called out happily. Miss Hikari was an early 20-ies woman; she had light brown hair and bright blue-ish green eyes. She loves to smile. Today was her first day at work; she was very enthusiastic about it, since her sister always talked about the school. Though, Miss Hikari had to say that her sister was wrong! This school isn't a school brought from hell! It was a wonderful learning environment!

Oh how right she was.

Until Mukahi Gakuto stepped into her life...

"Sensei, tell me again why we have only one microscope per person?" Shishido asked.

"Because we don't have enough money to buy them all, umm..." She picked up the attendance. "...name?"

"...Shishido Ryou." Shishido answered.

"Ah, Shishido-kun." She put down the attendance. "Sorry for not knowing you name, my sister decided to switch classes so I was told that I could teach third years! Won't that be great?"

"Real great." Shishido muttered.

"Sensei! Why do we have to use microscopes? Does life make us feel big enough?" Gakuto asked.

"Well, we're going to be learning about microscopic things, so we need these microscopes." Miss Hikari replied.

"Oh! Oh! Can I pull Marui-kun's hair and examine it under the microscope?" Jiroh asked as he bounced enthusiastically in his seat.

Miss Hikari smiled. "I'm sure you'll be able to soon, but today, we're going to talk about the rules."

The class groaned. Jiroh stopped bouncing and started to _SULK_. Which was NOT like Jiroh at all. "I... I just wanted to see what Marui-kun's hair looked like..." He said sadly.

Miss Hikari felt bad. "We'll do it later today if we get enough time, ok, um... Akutagawa-kun?"

Jiroh looked up from his desk. "REALLY? YAY!!!" He started to bounce around on his chair again.

"No one can with stand the Akutagawa poor helpless look can they?" Gakuto asked.

"It has never failed yet!" Jiroh whisper-shouted to Gakuto.

Miss Hikari smiled once again. "Shall we start? Ok!"

She wrote down the rules, and she gave out papers. After half an hour of talking was over, Miss Hikari declared that the whole thing was finally over.

"But!" She said. "If you don't follow the rules, you might have to pay for the broken telescope! Now, class close your eyes and imagine this..."

Everyone closed their eyes.

"You break your telescope, and then you tell your parents that you broke it and you need to pay for it. Now imagine their shocked faces and remember it! Every time you hold on to the microscope, imagine it!" She cried.

Gakuto raised his hand.

"Yes, um... Mukahi-kun?" She asked.

"Uh, my parents are on a business trip so they won't be back in a while. Can I imagine my hamster's shocked face instead?"

Shishido slammed him hands on the table. "Oh god, Gakuto! How stupid are you?! Your hamster can't look shocked! They only care for themselves!"

"Wow, how narcissist!" Gakuto exclaimed.

"Like Atobe!" Jiroh added.

Atobe opened his eyes and started to twitch. "How dare you talk about Ore-sama like that! He is NOT a hamster!"

"No, no, he's a lion!" Gakuto cried. "You know! Arrogant, proud, just like Atobe!"

"Better, but Ore-sama prefers dragons... or maybe a Greek god like Zeus?"

"...Not that far, Atobe. We don't think_ that_ highly of you." Gakuto plainly stated.

"Oshitari... how can you live with Gakuto as your doubles partner?" Shishido asked Oshitari, who was sitting next to him.

Oshitari thought for a moment. "I would say that I don't usually listen to him."

Shishido sighed. "That's so like you, Oshitari."

"Ore-sama demands to be a Greek god!"

"I want to try seeing Marui-kun's hair under the 'scope!!!"

"Can I just imagine my hamster?"

"You don't OWN a hamster, Gakuto." Shishido stated. He rolled his eyes. "How can you IMAGINE your hamster being shocked if you don't even OWN one in the first place?!"

"Stop being so negative, Shishido!" Gakuto shouted. "You ruin the fun and laughs we get from this world of ours!"

"No, I just ruin your fun because it's illogical and SO obsolete."

"Ore-sama is impressed that Shishido knows the words illogical and obsolete."

Shishido rolled his eyes. "Well, DUH! I'm not stupid like GAKUTO, over there."

"HEY! I'm not stupid! You're... you're..." He thought for a moment. "A... a... PIGGY JUNIOR, JUNIOR PIGBUTT!"

"...A what?" Shishido asked.

"A piggy junior, junior pigbutt." Gakuto repeated.

"..."

"Class, can we get back to the subject of science?" Miss Hikari asked politely.

"Sensei, please take Mukahi Gakuto to the nurse since he is CLEARLY showing signs of 'Gakuto-itis'." Shishido said.

"I'M NOT SICK!"

"No, you're not! You're just suffering from Gakuto-itis!" Jiroh corrected.

"..." Gakuto just stared at Jiroh.

"Ore-sama would be such a beautiful god." Atobe said.

"NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR NEEDS, ATOBE!" Gakuto and Shishido shouted.

"You're just jealous of Ore-sama and his magnificence." Atobe said.

"...oh real jealous." Gakuto muttered sarcastically.

"Class--"

"SENSEI, WE'RE TRYING TO TALK HERE!" Gakuto shouted.

Miss Hikari was taken aback. "Mukahi-kun, go to the office right now!"

"NEVER!" Gakuto hopped off his seat and opened the window, preparing to jump. "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME, MUKAHI GAKUTO, ALIVE!!!"

He jumped.

"Did he forget that we're on the third floor?" Shishido asked.

"..."

"OW! DAMMIT ALL!" Gakuto shouted.

Shishido sighed. "Once an idiot, always one, I guess."

"Well at least he got the "you'll never catch me alive" part right..." Oshitari said as he sighed along with Shishido.

"HEY! SOMEONE HELP ME FROM UP THERE!"

"Ok class, I decided that I will never teach science at Hyoutei ever again." Miss Hikari said cheerfully. "So DON'T LOOK FOR ME." She slammed down her microscope, breaking the whole thing, "I'M NEVER TEACHING HERE AGAIN! I QUIT TEACHING THIRD YEARS!"

"HEY! SOMEONE! I THINK I SPRAINED MY STOMACHE!"

"...his brain, that's what he sprained." Shishido muttered.

And so, Miss Hikari learned the hard way that Hyoutei IS a thing from hell. Yup, she learned from her dear, dear sister, Miss Akari, to never teach here again. All was well! Gakuto never showed up to class later that day since he had to go home because he broke his leg.

EVERYONE WAS HAPPY, OK?!?! Except the second years...

Choutaro was STILL sad that their beloved teacher left school. Hiyoshi was sad... but he didn't show it, because he learned that showing emotion in Hyoutei can bring you BAD, BAD luck.

FIN!


End file.
